Heartless Grocery

I had a terrible experience at my Safeway today. I was stoping by during my lunch break to deposite my paycheck & get some soup. As I was getting out of my car I saw the prettiest puppies playing in the parking lot. They were both pits or pit mixes and they must have been about a year old if that. Needless to say I was terrified for their safty. We are practically in down town Seattle & it's a very busy street. They were darting around, wrestling, almost getting hit by cars. I called them over to me & asked them where their Mommy was. (I got lots of kisses & tail wags but no straight answer.) I saw a car with the door open around where they had been and decided that they probably belonged to that car but there were no people around. I went into Safeway & asked one of the employees if he could put out an anouncment on the speakers about the dogs & car. I went back out to the parking lot & the dogs had chased a couple walking their puppy down the street. I called on the good will of that couple who kindly walked their dog back to the car with the open door. We investigated & discovered doggy slobber on the windows & leashes in the car so we put the dogs back in & closed the door. I went back into Safeway & asked the employee if he had put out the anouncement. He replied it was not Safeways responsibility. It was peoples buisness what they did with their dogs & their cars and if they were stupid enough to leave their car door open than blah blah blah. I told him he was heartless. Good lord, it would have taken 2 minuets out of his day. I waited with the dogs until their mommy came out of the store & all was well. Still, in protest & frustration, I will not be shopping at Safeway for sometime. I am so glad I met the nice couple walking their dog or else I would have lost all faith in humanity!

Bills & Money

My biggest problem with money is that it doesn't come to you based on how hard or how long you work. I am not saying that people who make a lot of money don't work hard, I am sure most successful people work very hard. But there are a lot of people who make almost no money at all who work just a hard. I work moderately hard but I don't think that my work ethic is reflected in my lifestyle. Bills are draining the life out of me. I am tired of being broke. I just sometime feel like there is no way out of debt. I think I would rather live on a self sustaining farm & reap the benefits of my labor directly. This modern world is just no place for me. I don't understand the currency.
I am also tired of being in the Army. I didn't go to AT. Any of you out there who are in the reserves are aghast I am sure. I am just so scattered & tired that I am living one moment to the next. I didn't even realize until someone at my unit called me that I should be at AT right now and of course it's too late to take time off of work. I am in trouble with THE MAN. I was under the mistaken impression I was too pregnant to go to AT, after all I don't have a uniform that fits. What would I have worn? I am a gigantic nervous breakdown. (And I really don't think it's all hormones.) Gigantic. Huge. Luckily I am in counseling. How long does that take to kick in???, I wonder.
It will all be ok. Tonight I am going to watch more lost with Erin! And my brother wrote to me! And I ate 1 1/2 chocolate donuts today! Take that cruel world.

Blah

Today is one of those days. You know, the miserable kind. I am not sure why it is SOO miserable, but it is. At least the sky is grey. Seattle knows. It makes eyerthing so much worse to have one of those days when it's sunny outside. I am at work right now, which is usually very busy but today everyone seems to be laying low so I have too much time.
One of the nurses at work took some time out of her day to doppler my belly. A babys heartbeat is so relaxing. She couldn't find it at first & I got all nervous, then there it was. It may be one of the nicest sounds in the world. My miserable day wasn't totally cured but it did seem to relieve most of the anxiety. The world does go on.
I made my first baby blanket with my mom last weekend. It was beautiful. The top half is teal brocade & the bottom half is some kind of gold sliky something. The texture is devine, that's the only word for it. The brocade has this multi-jewel-tone-colored design of these persian warriors & horses. It may sound a little violent but I like to think of it as an adventure blanket. Plus later on it will make a great cape. Gold side for supper hero, brocade side for royalty.
I feel better just thinking about that blanket. (I am proud of it, although Mom did do most of the actual sewing.) Besides soon Erin & I will have another Almost Hank Wednesday so things are bound to look up. Shari's is the cure to all ills.

Unemployed

I am unemplyed again. It is wonderful except that my bills keep pilling up and at some point I am going to run out of food. If it wasn't for these two things I could be happy forever.
I quit my job is anger. This is the first time I have ever done that. I just felt really taken advantage of and so I lost it an quit. I didn't even give notice.
What happened was that the family I worked for moved. (About twice as far away, I might add.) When they moved they moved into a parking complex with no visitor parking. So I got there and the mom told me to park in the fire lane, and everyone else was parking there, and that the management knew about it and it was ok. And indeed there were several cars parked there so I parked. And ofcourse my car got towed. It cost me a lot of money to get my car back and no one seemed to be willing to help me out at all, not the family or the nursing agency. So basically I had worked for about a week for nothing. Plus they wouldn't give me a raise and the pay rate was rediculously low. So I quit. It was tremendously dramatic for me. But now I at least feel relaxed and the best part of all is that I am getting sleep. Sweet sleep! Those who have not worked a night job may not understand how great sleep is, but as soon as you don't get it you know. Sleep is heaven.

Long Time No Blog

Well it's been awhile. I am feeling pretty constantly sedated or exhausted and perhaps a bit stressed. As is my habit, these feelings have sent me into a personal exile. I don't call, don't blog, don't email, don't leave the house and spend much too much time with the TV. In this state of things I have forced myself to ponder the meaning of such a pointless, self pitying existance. And I have come to the decision that there is no point so I had better stop wasting my time with it. Not with life, just with my lifestyle. Now we will see if the decision sticks. Keep reading to find out. If I stop blogging again and you haven't heard from me in a few weeks you'll know I fell of the wagon of productivity again. If you need to contact me I will be at home in my apartement eating in front of the television. But I probably won't answer my phone and I don't have a doorbell so you might have to coordinate with my roommate if you actually want to get in.

nuthin much to say but i'll say it anyway

Today I went to school. It was great. I really like school. If that makes me a nerd so be it. I love nerds! (The people and the candy.) I am taking anatomy and physiology for the third time! No, I do not like ANP that much, but the nursing program won't accept the year of anatomy I took at Southern because it is too old, and they won't accept the month I took of it in LPN school because it's too short. I am going to be a subject matter expert soon.
Also I have a job interview. It isn't that most exciting job but it looks like it's going to be very flexible and pays well. (Erin, just shut up... I know exactly what you're thinking.)
Erin and I had Almost Hank Wednesday last night and it was very good. I ate the left-overs of my garlic mushroom burger for breakfast. Mmmm.... Shari's. We also went to Target and got hats!!! Pink hats!!! I am sure that when Erin and I are done decorating them we will take pictures.
Toby is doing well. He is staying with his Dad at this moment. He is very happy and says "S'up".
Ok ok.... I'm going to stop rambling. Peace.

Happy Birthday to Me

Well - I am now officially 24 years old. How did that happen? My birthday was very nice. I met my mom and my brother at Olympia and we looked at the capitol building and ate breakfast even though it was lunch time and played cards for hours at some local cafes. It was nice. I also had a fun family party earlier in the month. It was a joint party for my aunt and my grandma and I. And on top of all that birthday bliss Erin made me a cake. (Which I think she put pictures of on her blog.) I ate the last piece of it today for a midmorning snack. It was fabulous!
To top off my feeling of oldness my baby brother is now, as you read this, a freshman at college. How can this be?
I think this is hitting me a harder than I expected. Last night I had a dream that I gave birth! To a baby!!! And it didn't hurt!!!!!! This is some weird biological LIE that my body has come up with. Things just need to slow down. SLOW DOWN. SSLLLOOOOWWWWW DOWWWNNNNNNNN. Did that work? Ugh. Nice. Ugh.